Laid off and Pissed Off

February 1st is my anniversary date at CircleCI. Instead of celebrating my 8th year at the company, I was laid off by CircleCI the day before, January 31st. I was a bit shaken. I wasn’t sure how I felt. Was I sad? scared? relieved? I went in and out of all these emotions for the first few weeks. In mid-February, though, an emotion grew in the pit of my stomach that hasn’t subsided. I’m pissed.

I want to be clear: I’m not angry at CircleCI. I was laid off. It’s happening all over our industry. I learned a lot during my time there. I was angry at myself. I didn’t have much savings, I didn’t have a ready resume and professional network, and I wasn’t taking any of my projects seriously. I knew better, yet I fell into the same trap many fall into. I got comfortable and complacent—a mistake.

I grew up poor and always felt like I had my back against the wall. Like my favorite New York Mets baseball team, I’ve always considered myself an underdog. I grew to accept the hand life gave me and use it to motivate me. It was myself against the world. I’m angry that I lost my way. It’s okay now because I am doing something about it. I feel that “fire” in me again for the first time in many years.

My time employed with Linode, the U.S. Navy, and now CircleCI have all ended. Stay tuned to this blog via my social media (linked in the header), RSS, or newsletter to see what comes next, what fun projects I’ll work on, and what I have to teach.

Inspire • Educate • Motivate